For the last 2-3 years I have suffered from a very bad case of hormonal imbalance. My menstruation became abnormal that my husband and I have been fearing the possibility of us unable to bear a child. We sought treatments after treatment until I came across my present OBGyne who saved us.
I just finished my three-month treatment which was absolutely fine but after the treatment my menstruation didn’t come. I thought it had failed again but after seven weeks I took a pregnancy test and everything became a miracle.
I think every first trimester is not easy. I was really sick, I had asthma, I had pneumonia, I had urinary tract infection and I had otitis media. I have been heavily medicated during that course of my pregnancy. I was also so emotionally ballistic. My mood was the one that transitioned drastically. I was crying, shouting, became hot-headed. I was basically a mess which was especially heightened because my husband and I was planning our wedding.
One good thing that happened during that time though was not having morning sickness. My food preferences didn’t became so weird I just didn’t like some food especially milk which is a ‘meh’ because I need it for the pregnancy obviously.
The second trimester was exciting for us especially for me because it felt lighter. I genuinely liked being pregnant at that time. It was like being pregnant but not. My bump was showing and it was looking good. I was fashionable and happy at that point of my pregnancy. I had so much energy that I am beginning to think that this pregnancy is going to be easy.
The most wonderful part at this point was our wedding and our gender reveal. We were stressed as hell but as happy as we could be and happier when we found out that our baby is a girl. Our precious little girl was growing inside me and I am beginning to feel her kicks. Marlicia Hope, will be out soon.
At the beginning of the third trimester, I felt so exhausted and my daughter’s kicks became very uncomfortable especially when she is hitting some bony parts. I was so swollen that people begin to think that I am already due on the next day. It was truly a stretch for me to go out and get out of bed.
The whole week of 33rd and 34th week, I began to feel sick again. I had colds that won’t go away. My nose was so congested and I frequently had headaches. My husband began to notice that my diastolic blood pressure went up from 70-80 mmhg to 90 mmhg. On the 23rd of March, while working, I began to feel dizzy. My blood pressure shoot to 140/100 to 150/100 which was temporarily controlled by medication. I went to my doctor the following day and was subsequently admitted for preeclampsia.
I was admitted for two days and was released because my blood pressure was controlled. I was advised for a month’s bed rest. I obliged but on the 28th my blood pressure rose up again. The anxiety that I may deliver my baby prematurely did not help my situation. The following day, I was vomiting and I was so dizzy that my doctor decided to have me under C-section. I was hopeful that she will be okay but at the same time I was afraid that I blamed myself for my situation and any bad situation that my child will be in.
On the 29th of March 4:59 PM, my beautiful baby girl was born, crying and was apparently healthy. I was so happy to hear her strong cries, to see her beautiful face, to hold her, to see her breathing, to feel the warmth of her small breaths and to hold her small hands. My beautiful baby has come.
Six hours from delivery, we received news that our baby had pneumonia and that she has to be hooked to an IV, oxygen supplementation and receive medications. For a week our baby had fought a tremendous fight, the fight to live. We were heartbroken, angry, afraid and distraught with what she is going thru. Seeing her body with all this horrendous tubes, all the medications, all the small cries for help and how her little body so beaten, breathing so fast, so hungry, so afraid and upset of everything she has gone thru. I was still recovering but I was not minding all my pain because I have to be with my little girl.
It is true that faith will get you thru the toughest part. After a week, she was healed. No hooks, no tubes and no more pain. It was a miracle. I couldn’t wait to go to the nursery and hold her for hours, kiss her, sing to her and feed her. My life turned a 360 spin. I wasn’t ready, motherhood didn’t came with a manual but it came with one thing and it is overwhelming love that on March 30, 2015 at 3:37 pm I wrote:
To my beautiful daughter Marlicia Hope,
I was so scared that you’d come out before your expected but now that I see you I have nothing but pure happiness. Seeing your small face, tiny hands and feet, seeing your every breath and feeling your heartbeat made me so madly in love which I never thought would happen to me. In an instant you swept me off my feet.
Baby girl, my little princess, I will be with you in every fight. I will always love you when no one else will. My baby keep up the fight. Grow healthy, happy and full of love. I am not perfect but I will try to be th best mother I can be to you.
My love, may God shower you with blessings. May God protect you and cover you with His blood and Holy Spirit. I love you so much baby girl.